Day 6 - 30 day blog challenge - What are you afraid of?


A human suffers most because of the suffering he fears



Then it is already the 6th blog that I write for this challenge, and no… I did not make a post every day. It doesn't matter, there is one every day, right?

The question; What am I afraid of?

I'm not afraid of anything

That is very easy to answer. In fact, I am not afraid of anything. For the simple reason that there is no point in worrying about what could happen. I try to live in the present and not worry about what might happen. It takes away a lot of joie de vivre. And it is not that I have always had this attitude towards life… Certainly not!

It sure was NOT always this way

As a young girl I was afraid of the dark. As a six-year-old girl, I walked to a fancy fair in the village by my mother's hand, I suffered a trauma from an accident that happened right before my eyes. A woman who was hit by a car on her bicycle, was thrown off her bike and fell right at my feet. All covered in blood and dead. That accident left me with nightmares for at least a year. Every night I saw that dead woman at my feet, all covered in blood. And because I could turn it off during the day, but it came back every night, I became afraid of the dark. Terribly scared… I didn't want to go to sleep either because that meant that I had to be in the dark. And in the dark those nightmares came back. The solution then was that I slept for a long time with a light on… AND instead of being in my own room, my bed was placed in my sister's room. That way it has slowly improved. Until after about two years I wanted to go back to my own room.

I wasn't really brave

After that it went very well for a while and I became stronger. Could overcome my own fears and learned to deal with it and not let it control my life anymore. But to say that I was very brave at the time? No not really.

Anxiety attacks

And at the time when many family members in my family were suddenly diagnosed with cancer at the same time, I was terrified that I would also get cancer. That could not even be called a 'normal fear' anymore. I was literally obsessed with that idea. And every pain made me have an anxiety attack.

After that I was obsessed with the idea that I would suddenly run out of money and it made me panic, because how would I survive in such a situation?

Until I literally faced such a situation at the end of 2018… and managed to survive despite that.

My view has changed so much

And now… now my life is very different. I live today and try to get the most out of it. Enjoy it now. To live in the NOW… because tomorrow is not guaranteed. In addition, I have been through enough in my life to be able to put things into perspective, and to realize for myself that despite everything I have been through ... I have only come out stronger. Every time again.

I'm no longer afraid

And that knowledge makes me no longer afraid of what could happen. I know that whatever I encounter in my path, no matter how dark it can get. It will also become light again one day. And what I also think is “What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger”. In addition, it is often true that we suffer most from the suffering we fear. In other words, if you fear everything you are not living optimally and you are suffering because you are afraid of something that may never happen.

Let go and overcome the fears

I've known it, I've done it like this… and I've learned it's not nice. Living in the NOW, enjoying the NOW… and we will see what tomorrow will bring.

Of course you have to plan things, you have to think ahead. But be afraid of something? No, never again! Fear does not change yesterday's grief or solve tomorrow's problems. And by reasoning it this way I can let go and overcome my fears.

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A woman who was hit by a car on her bicycle, was thrown off her bike and fell right at my feet. All covered in blood and dead. That accident left me with nightmares for at least a year. Every night I saw that dead woman at my feet, all covered in blood.

Sorry that happened to you, that must have been terribly traumatizing indeed. How sad this event hunted you for so long in your dreams :(

It's great to not live in fear, I wish I could say I'm fearless, but I'm not. I do agree though, that it's pointless to live in fear for what MIGHT happen or come. But I'm still one that can get carried away for a few days by something happening, overruling my feelings with fear (what if..) .. thankfully, it won't last long these days, usually I'm able to process it in my mind, give it a place and move on without fear of what may come (or not).

You've made a lot of progress, well done!

A woman who was hit by a car on her bicycle, was thrown off her bike and fell right at my feet. All covered in blood and dead. That accident left me with nightmares for at least a year. Every night I saw that dead woman at my feet, all covered in blood.

Sorry that happened to you, that must have been terribly traumatizing indeed. How sad this event hunted you for so long in your dreams :(

It's great to not live in fear, I wish I could say I'm fearless, but I'm not. I do agree though, that it's pointless to live in fear for what MIGHT happen or come. But I'm still one that can get carried away for a few days by something happening, overruling my feelings with fear (what if..) .. thankfully, it won't last long these days, usually I'm able to process it in my mind, give it a place and move on without fear of what may come (or not).

You've made a lot of progress, well done!

Thank you ... It was a trial and error for a long time. But once I decided that there is happened enough in my life to break a weaker person, I came to understand that I shouldn't waste my time with fear. It only will hold you back from what you want and need to do. And even IF the things you fear are happening to you. You have to deal with it, so why keep living in fear ... ?? Face the fear and overcome it is the only answer. And once you are able to do that, you're not afraid any longer.

Great post, fear is a real b*tch and it's hard to get to live in the NOW, we let a lot of things live in our heads rent free so it's great to know you yourself empowered yourself......not some played out mantra or a dreamjournal or culty online course or thing........YOU! I picked this post to feature in my latest BlackSheepBloggers news and update post :)

Thank for the curation of course ... and for the words. Yes it's not always easy to live in the NOW, and not to worry about tomorrow or next week, month or year. But I've learned that fear only is holding you back, and once you face it you can let go of the fear. And that's where the real freedom of life begins.

I feel the same as you do that until you are faced with a situation and survive it or come through it on the other side and able to deal with it, you will always have a hesitation. But my situation was the opposite. I too had family members stricken with diabetes. I didn't think much of it in my early years until I had to face the same illness. Only did I realize the struggle they were going through and why they were so pessimistic in life about it. But you have to get a grip on it or it will overtake you. I've learned that if you never tackle a problem, it will always be out in front of you. You either handle it of be afraid of it.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Facing the fear makes that you can let go of the fear. And there the real freedom of life begins ... It's not easy when you have to face that. But just what you say. Get a grip on it or it will indeed overtake you. And when that happens you're lost. I'm happy that you could get a grip on it. Shows your strength and it will help you. Thank you for sharing your story and for your visit on my blog.

You are right! Fear doesn't change anything.

Nope it doesn't ... it only holds you back from living and taking action. Fear paralyzes you. Living in, and enjoying the NOW really lets you live and gives you freedom and it empowers you.